On The Subject of Buttholes

Over the past few weeks I've become quite acquainted with my inner asshole. I don't mean the part of my psyche that's a jerk, I mean my literal, physical, anatomical asshole. I've been observing how the state of my rear affects my communication, sex, mood, and life. Let's start with the basics:

Tightening your ass is a method of numbing sensation

We use phrases like "you feel kind of tight," and "my boss is so anal" because we all inherently understand this psycho-somatic relationship.

I realized this week that I tighten throughout the day way more than I previously thought. Here are a few:

  • Emotional dismay: irritation, annoyance, judgment, jealousy.

  • Intellectualizing: trying to figure out problems or organize convoluted information.

  • Physically Exertion: awkward yoga poses, high rep exercise.

  • Sex: pulling for climax, whenever sensation gets really high.

Basically my butt involuntarily tightens anytime I'm out of agreement with my situation. Just like clamping down on a water hose, it's a way to"grip" for control at the expense of blocking the flow of feeling.

Your TWO Sphincters Have Different Effects

If you were a good student in 9th Grade Bio, you may remember that our anus is made of two sphincters that permit passage through the colon like the alternating locks of the Erie Canal. (Which you'd understand if you were a good student in 8th Grade History.)

Last week in yoga, while struggling to relax in "Crescent Moon," I noticed I could feel the Inner Sphincter contract independently of the Outer. The two serve the same anatomical purpose, but have profoundly different energetic effects.

The Outer Sphincter is well within our control. We contract it to hold in a fart. We relax it to take in a thermometer (hopefully.) Most don't realize the Inner can continue clench even after the Outer has been relaxed.

I remember attempting anal sex with past lovers and being confused when her ass seemed relaxed from the outside, yet I couldn't get in. She wanted to appear trusting and open, but the truth was she didn't feel safe enough to be that vulnerable with her body.

It's a nice little metaphor: Your visible anatomy seems open, but you're secretly closed on the inside.

Relaxing the Inner Sphincter feels much more vulnerable. To truly relax is to truly all the world in; to surrender control. And as we know from sensation, surrender is a key part of flow.

Sphincter relaxation is proportional to ability experience Flow

If you've made it this far in the post, I commend you. I imagine many of the readers daring enough to click and read a post about buttholes, dropped off around the metaphor part.

Your reward for making it this far is a practical lifehack. This one instruction, when done continuously, will allow you to feel more in sex, reduce anxiety, increase serenity, be more authentic, allow flow, and ultimately meet life on life's terms:

RELAX YOUR ASS! (Both parts.)

You're welcome.

It takes a bit of practice to really notice you're Inner Sphincter, but it's a muscle too; one that you can flex, relax and feel. I invite you to really up your attention there, and open up!. You may surprised how much sensation you've been blocking.

 

(Originally posted January 2014.The following video was created afterwards as a How To.)