I’m up dark and early today.
It’s not even morning.
Actually it’s not even tomorrow.
The last few nights I’ve been sleeping around 9pm (my normal) and waking up before midnight.
Yeah, I know it’s not healthy. It’s not by choice.
I’ve had a terrible case of candida overgrowth in my gut the last month.1 I’ll spare you descriptions of the gross symptoms. But the worst is I can’t stay asleep for my life.
Yesterday I woke up 20 minutes after I fell asleep. I haven’t slept more than four hours straight in weeks. I’m feel like the main character in Fight Club… but not the cool parts.
But that’s not what I mean to write you about…
Since I can’t clear out my gut fungus I decided to clear out the inbox of an email address I no longer use.
I found an email from a dude who said one of my podcasts episodes from 2022 unf*cked his marriage.
So I’m reposting it.
It’s about a man’s role in containing a woman’s reality—Only then can a woman really feel her feelings, be present, be in her feminine.
I call this the Spiritual Perimeter. (As opposed the the basic Material Perimeter of “protecting and providing” which has mostly become obsolete in modern life.)
It’s a gift a man gives his partner. It’s cognitive and emotional burden he takes off her shoulders. It allows her to flourish as a woman rather than the split-androgynous society asks her to be.
This is one of the biggest differences between committed and not-so-committed relationships. In casual relating you can play “masculine” and “feminine.” In real commitment you rely on each other— and not just for chores.
If you’re not interdependent, you’re not really committed.
If you aren’t containing her reality, she’s not really yours.
Women want a man who is sure of what he’s doing more than whether or not he’s actually right... A woman will forgive you if you’re wrong.
You go out and refine the truth and then bring her the certain truth... You take it out of the realm of possibilities
00:00: Intro to truth in relationships
01:33: Symmetrical vs. asymmetrical dynamics
05:16: Defining the spiritual perimeter
12:58: Unifying reality through respect
26:40: Passing shit and comfort tests
35:31: Vision to prevent stagnation
46:42: Leading as one unit
New essays by email, a few times a month.
Ruwan Meepagala has coached hundreds of men succeed with women since 2013. His Ruwando Podcast: Psychology for Men with Brains and Balls has reached hundreds of thousands since its creation. Originally from New York, he’s lived all over the world and currently resides in Spain with his wife and two kids.
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- 1 The previous months, my wife insisted we do a heavy metal detox. Turned out our little rural home in Peru happened to be on a mountain with some of the worst heavy metal contamination in the world.
But apparently all stuff in your gut keeps the other stuff in check. So by removing our heavy metals, our gut fungi hyper-multiplied.